undone

medical trauma is a thing for many spanning all kinds of human experience. I shield myself from the brunt of it mostly through avoidance, which has its own issues. And I've been lucky enough to find a couple of good people I do trust and are able to work with me and my needs.

Yesterday was not that day. I'm still processing what occurred but I did send an initial email to acc who organised this review to let them know what happened.

I've typed the details out once and I'm not sure I have the energy to do it again. I'm not sure if it all belongs in this space. But this supposed professional who did not introduce herself or her qualifications, or the purpose and structure of the session just utterly bulldozed me, and backed over me again and again for good measure.

I feel damaged right now. It felt purposeful by this practitioner, perhaps also by that system. This isn't acceptable but it is common.

Now I have to figure out how to pick myself back up, try to start moving again